My scar today, 6 months post op |
Since the surgeon removed some of my neck muscles sometimes when I laugh too hard my neck feels like it is popping out of the socket--if that makes sense--and I have to turn my head a few times until it rights itself. Aside from that silly side effect I often forget I have a scar.
For comparison:
Six days post op |
2 months post op |
Today also marks day 5 of my low iodine diet. After Sean came home from work I headed off to the grocery alone and spent about two hours pacing the aisles, reading ingredients and feeling defeated.
I felt as if I might puke all day and my stomach was extremely painful. I guess I will have my good days and my bad.
As I drove home Paul Brandt's Cry if you want to came on shuffle, and even though I didn't feel like crying the significance wasn't lost on me. This was the song that my sister sang to me when my dear friend Paul was diagnosed with brain cancer years ago. I'll never forget her holding me as I wept in her wife's--then girlfriend--bedrooom. Crying and feeling like it was OKay to cry was exactly what I needed. Tonight the song made me stronger as I thought about how many people are supporting me through this journey. I've made a lot of friends (hi, Sara!) and have reconnected with some old ones.
I still just want milk and cheese. If I could have any food right now it would be nachos with fake cheese, washed down with a huge glass of milk.
My RAI treatment is two weeks from today. Let's get this over with.