Tuesday, June 4, 2013

Children's programming is my crack

It's no secret that on the days I don't feel well my children can smell out my overpowering need to relax and they do everything in their tiny powers to make sure I stay on my feet. For instance, I felt lenient today and told my toddler that he didn't have to nap--he usually skips his nap to hang out in his room singing about why he won't nap these days anyway--but that he did have to observe "quiet time" in front of the boob tube so that I could cat nap. In the twenty minutes I attempted to shut my eyes he pooped twice and handed me every piece of dog hair he found in our house. Motherhood is hard. Please take that bucket off of your head. No, the dogs do not want to talk on the phone so please stop chasing them. Please don't push your sister so high in her swing, she is not a toy. Here, watch your show again. I am thankful for mind-numbing cartoons and their power to make him sit still for more than a minute or five. So maybe my son knows the words to the hoveround commercial.


I know I should feel guilty for putting them in front of the TV so often, but I don't know how I could make it through the day sometimes without my baby sitters Nemo, Simba, Thomas (& friends), some Canadian documentary called Mighty Machines, and creepy Little Tykes Land. And when I'm really tired we watch that Neil Patrick Harris movie version of the Smurfs because we recorded it when we had a free trial of the Starz channel and it has no commercials.

I feel even less guilty when I pop on Fireman Sam and find my son reading a book about firemen as he watches.

I applaud all of those moms who cut out cable and actually entertain their children for fifteen hours a day, I really do. Those moms are superheroes and their kids end up on spelling bees where the contestants not only can spell the word but now they are forced to know the definitions. I will be the first to admit that I am not one of those superhero moms.

Please put down that cribbage board, it's not a weapon! Here, watch Cars. And when that's over we can pop in Cars 2 until Daddy gets home from work.

Is it just me? Do you let your child watch television?