Friday, May 31, 2013

Beat beat drums

That's the thing about sharing a bedroom with an infant during a heat wave, you can't crank the air conditioner up (down?) to frigid climates.  Sweet three-month-old Kate--who normally sleeps right through the night--woke up at 2:30 to eat, feeling a bit cold to the touch, and my husband is bundled under a million covers in a ball next to me.  The air conditioner says it's 69 degrees in our bedroom.  

I'm sweating. 

Yesterday was a pretty horrific day for me health wise.  I woke up without much pain in my muscles which was awesome and rare for my body, but I woke up with a migraine and my heart was beating out of my chest for half the day.  My father-in-law took Dylan hiking and to the library and park for a few hours and I sat on the couch with one hand on my heart and the other on the phone ready to call 9-1-1 if my heart palpitations worsened.  

My heart rate was at a low 64 when I checked my pulse but it was so irregular that it would beat, beat............wait a few seconds as if it had completely stopped......then beat again.  I was freaking out. My heart did not feel well. As long as I was lying on the couch I was OKay but the second I sat up I'd get faint and woozy and nearly pass out. 

I called my endocrinologist who couldn't figure out if my recent muscle ache symptoms and now my heart palpitations were a sign of my hypothyroidism or my hypocalcemia or both, so he is sending me for lab work in the morning. 

I overdosed on calcium pills in case my levels were low because that could put me into heart failure, and then I drank a ton of water just in case I was dehydrated.  After about five hours of feeling terrified and just not well in general, my heart started to regulate. 

I'm glad Dylan wasn't home today.  I wouldn't have been able to care for him in my condition.  And Kate simply slept the day away in between feedings so she wasn't any trouble. 

The thing about recovering from cancer is that you have no idea what is normal.  I felt nice and cool lying on our couch in the heat wave yesterday but the baby was hot to the touch so I eventually turned on the air conditioner and was forced to ask my father-in-law if our house felt hot or cold to him when he brought Dylan home. In addition to having no concept of temperature I have no ability to taste thanks to good old fashioned radiation; I either taste metal or nothing at all. 

But listen, at least my heart feels better now.  I can handle muscle aches and feeling too tired to stir the pot on the stove without needing a break, but I cannot handle my heart failing.