Sunday, April 21, 2013

I spoke too soon.

Nothing gets me out of bed faster than the sound of a dog about to vomit.

At 5AM I awake to the sound of Avery about to throw up in his dog bed. I throw off the covers and flick on the light and begin mission Get This Dog Outside Before He Yooks. I grab him by the collar and yell, "Let's go, Avery! Not on the rug! Go in the hallway!"

He is snarfing and gargling and I lead him out of our bedroom to the safety of the wood floor and he proceeds to run right past the hallway and onto the rug in Dylan's room. Nooooooo, Avery, noooooo! My life is flashing before me.

Avery continues to pregame and humph on Dylan's rug so I grab him by the collar and rush him back into the hallway where he rushes back into our room again and throws up on our white carpet.

I am pretty ticked but I don't have long to wallow because he starts making that gagging sound again. Round 2!

I am more determined than ever to get him outside this time and I grab him by the collar and shout, "Let's GO, Avery! Outside!" as I rush him in the direction of the back door.

Avery proceeds to continually vomit down the stairs as he walks. You're kidding me. I lead him outside where he seems to be feeling just fine again.

I gather up my supplies in the kitchen for mission #3: Operation Cleanup.

Stair by stair I clean dog puke, cursing under my breath. When I get to our bedroom Dylan is sitting up in bed with the light still on. Sean is still mostly asleep.

Dylan asks me what I'm doing and I explain I'm cleaning dog vomit. He sleepily proclaims, "Good boy, Mama! Great job!"

We switched dog food brands last night, hence the puke. We were feeding them a 1 star rated dog food without knowing it and had made a special trip to the store for a highly recommended 4 star brand. I told Sean that we should wait until morning to feed them the new food because I didn't want to deal with having to deal with three dogs getting the shits in the middle of the night; taking care of Katie already leaves me with little sleep.

But Sean was eager to start feeding them better food and gave it to them last night with the promise that he would get up to let the dogs out if need be.

Things were going fine. On Facebook I wrote how impressed I was that it was 3:30AM and there had been no dog poop incidents.

Fast forward to 5AM and you know the rest.

After scrubbing the carpet and turning off the lights I hopped back into our bed and was happily greeted by a cuddly Dylan.

A few seconds later Avery began to lick himself after settling back into his dog bed. Slurp slurp slurp slurp. And then I hear Dylan quietly whisper:

"Jesus, be quiet. It's time for bed."