Tonight Katie had her first taste of formula.
I cried. For me the saddest thing about having cancer is knowing that I cannot breastfeed Kate and having to be away from my family during treatments and surgeries. I think maybe these minor setbacks of cancer deflect the scarier possibilities such as, well, dying. I am so saddened by the thought that I can only breastfeed my baby for a few more weeks that I don't allow myself to think past it. Maybe I'm better off.
So I decided yesterday that we should buy some formula and let her try it. This way when I have to wean her in a few weeks she will be comfortable drinking formula from a bottle.
She did just fine, drank almost all of it.
So maybe I have to work on letting it go. Letting go of the ideal of being able to breastfeed her for as long as I was able with Dylan.
Someday this will be no big deal.
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Her umbilical cord fell off yesterday so today I took her in the tub with me. She absolutely loved it. She also pooped. Must've felt very relaxed.
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Yesterday we also went for our first walk down the street and since Dylan was such a good helper and listener I loaded then in the car afterwards and bought Dylan and me milkshakes.
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I love the weekends. I love that I can nap. I'm still only averaging about 2-4 hours of sleep per night. This morning Sean took the kids and let me sleep in until 8:30. My hero.